Do people really change? I believe we all have asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives. The “paradox of success”, according to Charles Handy, occurs because we need to change before we have to change. However, “when things are going well we feel no reason to change.” There are two ways people change – because they want to (they choose to) or because they have to (provoked by personal tragic event). Seth Godin has put it well, “Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.”
Change happens instantly! Deciding to change, though, takes sometimes years.
The stages we often go through are victim mentality (it is not my fault!), unhealthy habits (I just do it this way), taking responsibility (accepting reality: I am here because of my decisions; I have to change), changing (I want to chage)
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson
I. I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in, I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find my way out.
II. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it, I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
III. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, I still fall in…It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V. I walk down another street
What is the one thing you want to change in yourself? Write it down today. We might be used to instant gratification and quick results, but when it comes to personal change, we need to learn to be patient with ourselves. There are no shortcuts.
Further Exploration: https://goo.gl/w4vx4b