We dance round in a ring and suppose,
but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.
– Robert Frost
Coaching is a magic that is born in the vibrating powerful safe space between two people who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable. It reminds me of the teambuilding game when someone has to hold you in a free fall – and you trust them that they will, so you let go. You surrender. You fall trustfully, with an adrenaline rush and knot in your stomach.
In this free fall, people discover themselves. Sometimes you love what you experience, but rather often there is first the darkness that overcomes the space. Confusion. Discomfort. The heaviness of decisions taken or opportunities missed. Life choices made out of fear or habit, out of loving someone else more than yourself. Pain from lies we have been telling ourselves that no longer sound true. Or blame that is slowly being replaced with forgiveness. We even hear a few internal harsh voices that are meant to scare you, stop you, keep you safe, but they are no longer useful. A contaminated self-talk, as Robert Hicks calls it. First it is deafening, but eventually, it drowns out.
Then there is silence. The type of silence referred to as pregnant silences – full of meaning and emotions. Tiny noises your brain blocks. Heart open. Headspace. We stay there. We stay longer than what you are used to. Too much noise around and inside, we need more silence in our lives.
Truthful words take over the silence. You feel connected to a deeper understanding of who you are and where you are going. There is a sharp clarity, head, heart, gut aligned. Sense of purpose and direction. The heart is racing, you still feel fear, but it tastes different, like an adventure, a thrill, a path you cannot NOT take. It is your path. Anything else is a detour.
Pretences fall. You intensely feel your imperfections and strengths revealing the real, whole, unique you – there is no second one on earth just like you. Embracing all of yourself, what you are proud of, what you are ashamed of, is the only way forward. It is like falling in love with a person but this time it is you. Comfortable in your own skin, in your body, in your mind. And as the quote goes, the more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you. So you feel a sort of calmness and relief similar to laying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. You let go of control, blame, and fear. You let people in. You let come all that has been awaiting you.
What is that is awaiting you?
Link to my post on LinkedIn